thinking out loud

2003-05-29T16:10:00.000-05:00

"It was just a liturgical fart in the breeze."

a reporter's description of michael w. smith's music during a 1999 christian music festival. check it...

2003-05-28T21:13:00.000-05:00

there are no absolutes...

2003-05-27T09:46:00.000-05:00

a large push in the emerging church dialogue is avoiding the concept of hell and judgment. no one wants to hear 'turn or burn,' but rather give them the glorious picture of the Kingdom.

but is this legitimate? reading jeremiah-- all he could do was tell people how God's anger was coming, and the jews had to return to Him. jeremiah's message (and as i understand inspiration, God's message) would have been severely criticized in this day by the postmoderns.

but then-- this is a message to those who already know God, who should have known better. is this an expectation we can have for nonbelievers? that they somehow know God a la romans 1 and 2, so we should unabashedly present the coming wrath?

2003-05-26T22:56:00.000-05:00

our memorial day dinner...
susan: nice bowl of ramen
danny: caramel frappucino / cookies 'n cream float

2003-05-23T08:55:00.000-05:00

as of today, 5/23, susan and i have been married 1000 days...
that's pretty cool...
may God continue to make us one flesh...

next big anniversary would be 10000 days...
on jan 12, 2028...

2003-05-22T16:09:00.000-05:00

...in this life and in the world to come, those who follow Jesus will receive every thing they want, if what they want is to follow Jesus.

--Richard John Neuhaus

2003-05-21T23:13:00.000-05:00

ugh... i'm tired...

2003-05-15T11:19:00.000-05:00

language is funny... every time we utter a word or trace thoughts onto paper (haha-- or type it into the digital domain), there is a reason and purpose. language is propaganda. if i want to get real ugly, language at its core is manipulation

it took me a sec to get this-- but it's true. even as i type, i'm trying to convince you that this is what language is about. speech and writing is intended to generate response, to change situations, opinions, and beliefs.

so it makes me reflect on blogging vs journaling. the curious thing about journaling is there is no sense of influence on others (at least i don't see any). it's a record of thoughts, movements, emotions... and the audience is the writer and noone else (besides God, i guess).

but then i'm blogging, and fully expect others to read it. and so, that affects what i write, what i say. and in some ulterior way, i'm trying to convince people to think the way i do, or think that i'm valid, or get attention, or a multitude of other reasons.

ugh, too much to think about... well, let's see what else happens as i blog.

2003-05-14T08:46:00.000-05:00

if i'm to be honest, the Bible bothers me alot. for instance, take this passage from exodus 7:3...

and I will harden pharaoh's heart, and multiply My signs and My wonders in the land of egypt.

essentially God could have delivered the people much sooner. could have reduced the amount of pain and suffering. because pharaoh did increase the labor and cruelty after each plague. but instead God delayed it so He could show how amazing He was.

this bothers me... but i must pray and live thru this truth...

2003-05-13T11:33:00.000-05:00

Footnote to All Prayers

He whom I bow to only knows to whom I bow
When I attempt the ineffable Name, murmuring Thou,
And dream of Pheidian fancies and embrace in heart
Symbols (I know) which cannot be the thing Thou art.
Thus always, taken at their word, all prayers blaspheme
Worshipping with frail images a folk-lore dream,
And all men in their praying, self-deceived, address
The coinage of their own unquiet thoughts, unless
Thou in magnetic mercy to Thyself divert
Our arrows, aimed unskilfully, beyond desert;
And all men are idolators, crying unheard
To a deaf idol, if Thou take them at their word.

Take not, O Lord, our literal sense. Lord, in thy great
Unbroken speech our limping metaphor translate.

--C.S. Lewis

2003-04-08T15:57:00.000-05:00

we're raising support and funds right now. for both 30 hour famine, and the panama missions trip. i'm hoping to stay away from 'selling' stuff. why? maybe i'm naive, but i'd like people to give simply because they want to support the cause.

i think about charity golf tourneys-- those sure are fun, but should we, as a body of Christ, need to adopt these methods? or like last night, when wayne dyer was on PBS-- "send $365, and we'll send you my tapes, books, and journal!"

not that this type of fundraising is wrong. i just hope to avoid it. i guess sometimes i'm so automatic, impulsive, and i wanted to think thru this a little more.

2003-04-05T22:25:00.000-06:00

2003-04-05T07:45:00.000-06:00

2003-04-05T06:04:00.000-06:00

show me some love... leave a comment so i can see if it works...

2003-04-04T15:02:00.000-06:00

i'm listening to mussorgsky's 'pictures at an exhibition' right now. if you don't feel like reading the link, the work was basically a response to seeing a gallery of a dead friend's artwork.

it is really a beautiful piece of music, because i can feel what each picture looks like, even if i've never laid eyes on one of hartmann's paintings or sketches. the melodies even lead me to feel the pacing of walking from one work to another. the incredible depth and richness of each vignette captures musically what is normally visually experienced.

and as i listened, i thought of paul in romans-- oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God. and also david-- o, taste and see that the Lord is good! is there any doubt how much the kingdom of God that Jesus offers us now satiates the deep longing of the soul. just today, i read jeremiah, and how those who choose the path of God find rest in their souls.

how well has the church expressed the magnificence and mercy of eternal life? in many ways, the arts must be invited back into the sterile walls of the church, because words are often insufficient to express the waxing and waning of the soul.

2003-04-03T22:14:00.000-06:00

here's the conversation i was talking about. the posts in mind are dated 4/1 to 4/3.

2003-04-03T17:18:00.000-06:00

my greatest concern and fear about the postmodern movement is the abandonment of trying to seek one, primary meaning from each text. we now invite all opinions on a passage, and gain a greater, more complete picture by hearing the response of fellow believers (and nonbelievers, some would say) to a text.

here's an example that's been happening on a discussion board. what does Jesus mean when he says, 'be perfect as your heavenly Father is perfect' in matthew 5:48? i had always taken perfection in a moral sense, as a climax to what precedes this verse in chapter 5. Jesus is setting up the standard in which God desires us to behave.

another participant showed why he believes Jesus is describing perfection as completeness, and specifically complete in community as Jesus is in trinitarian community. it was a beautiful description and analysis, that yet another believer affirmed.

and you know what, as i listened, i was moved by this idea of perfection as completeness. and that's what's scary-- that i'm starting to feel that each Scripture can have multiple meanings.

woah... ummm... i know where that could lead... ok, this definitely needs to be processed more.

2003-04-01T23:21:00.000-06:00

dude, i am so stoked about this... can't remember the last books i've had as much fun reading thru...

2003-04-01T15:58:00.000-06:00

your lips are like a strand of scarlet,
and your mouth is lovely.
your temples behind your veil
are like a piece of pomegranate.
your neck is like the tower of David,
built for an armory,
on which hang a thousand bucklers,
all shields of mighty men.
your two breasts are like two fawns,
twins of a gazelle,
which feed among the lilies
--king solomon, song of solomon 4:3-5

we got the afternoon,
you got this room for two,
one thing i've left to do,
discover me discovering you.
one mouth to every inch of,
your skin like porcelain,
one pair of candy lips and,
your bubble gum tongue.
--john mayer, your body is a wonderland

wow-- i'd like to hear a psalm that mister mayer writes. his stuff sounds more like Scripture than a lot of praise songs...

2003-03-29T08:15:00.000-06:00

is Christ for the war? (click me!)

or against the war? (no, click me!)

either way, we can only continue to pray for peace...

2003-03-28T18:06:00.000-06:00

it's friday night, 6PM, and i'm waiting for LIFE fellowship to start. everyone's left the office. i'm sitting alone in my cube at WHCC. listening to mp3 sermons, surfing the web, and eating dinner. my dinner? two pizza hot pockets and a can of soybean milk straight from the vending machine. aren't 14 hour church days the best...?

2003-03-28T08:47:00.000-06:00

i wonder at the term 'break my heart.' we've equated this idea of brokenness with the feelings and emotions that come with emotional heartbreak. the disappointment, the sadness, the loneliness.

but i think-- is this an appropriate vision of heartbreak? perhaps when we think upon our own inability to consistently respond to God's outpouring of love, we feel heartbreak, but we must never associate disappointment, sadness, loneliness, and any other similar emotions with the blessings and love of God.

maybe a shift in imagining heartbreak would help. rather than thinking heart break as our heart being smashed by grief, perhaps we can envision God's Spirit filling our heart with His love and presence, until ultimately the fragile walls of our heart can no longer contain His goodness, and they shatter because of the goodness of God. heartbreak...

2003-03-27T11:24:00.000-06:00

so my first blog entry... guess it'd be a good place to explain why i chose the word souldig. since leaving my job at AMD, the one thing i've treasured and been astonished by is the volume of time that my brain is occupied by thoughts of God, His kingdom, and His bride. and as these thoughts eventually get re-directed towards myself, this exercise feels like my soul is being excavated... thus soul dig.

and i welcome God's Spirit to upheave my soul, because He knows more than anyone, more than i do, how desperately we all need our souls to be flipped around and renovated. so here's to hardhats, big shovels, and lots of dirt...